Does Jealousy Add Value to Love?

00:00:00:02 - 00:00:22:18
Unknown
Are you the jealous type? This is what my hairstylist asked me the other day, as I sat down to get my little haircut. It was a strange question, but one that I enjoyed. I've discovered that she actually really likes to ask me deep questions. I tend to give her really deep answers. And she always says that when.

00:00:23:00 - 00:00:45:20
Unknown
When I walk away, she feels smarter, more informed, or just more educated. And it's, is humbling because I'm just sitting there getting a haircut, but she really enjoys it. So I told my girlfriend, and she like, why is he asking you that? And I'm like, now, I don't know. Kill time. And, she's the curious type. I answered that I am nuts, and, the short and quick of it is that I am not jealous.

00:00:45:22 - 00:01:13:17
Unknown
And I think it's pretty stupid, frankly. So what makes me why is this stupid is stupid? Because ultimately, it's a sign of insecurity and security. Your relationship with that other person. Insecurity yourself. If we have to be more honest, we are jealous because we're not certain that our relationship is in good enough standing, that it could withstand another person in the mix, or even whatever.

00:01:13:17 - 00:01:34:10
Unknown
I don't even know what that looks like, depending on the individual. But in some cases, jealousy can be really, really ugly, hateful, mean. I was raised in a family where jealousy was a, a the level in which. And I laugh and I joke about it, but it's really not funny. Jealousy is is ultimately about lack of trust.

00:01:34:12 - 00:02:07:02
Unknown
And for me, it's one of the primary trust is one of the primary elements that are needed for any relationship to truly succeed and to succeed and continue to flourish with minimal effort. If there is trust, then there is no reason to be jealous. The relationship. The connection is secure enough that it can withstand anything that looks or could be perceived as the person being less than, loyal to you and your relationship.

00:02:07:04 - 00:02:30:05
Unknown
But I think the problem with really jealous people, jealousy in general. But like those people that even call themselves jealous, I'm the jealous type. Is, that they will make up things even when there is nothing there. And that is probably the biggest issue with it all, is that is enough. There's nothing to be wary or nervous or pissed about.

00:02:30:07 - 00:02:53:08
Unknown
The individual will create a story, and now the other person has to explain it away. Or like, hey, it's somebody I work with, or you met them already, and you can come with me if you want that kind of thing. That individual, the jealous one and the very jealous relationship. Chances are you're also jealous. So both parties are jealous types, and it serves no one, I think.

00:02:53:08 - 00:03:15:00
Unknown
I think it's stupid. It's immature. And if you are in a relationship where the other individual is extremely jealous, then I think. Or even if you're the jealous one, the jealousy. I mean, you don't have the trust. Then I think you should not be together. At least that's my philosophy. So let me just tell you how I approach it.

00:03:15:00 - 00:03:31:19
Unknown
I have I don't consider myself a jealous person, I have. I can be jealous or in moments, but almost every single time when I analyze a situation of like, oh, that's just my insecurity. But as it relates to my my person and it's been like this for a while. I even had an ex-girlfriend get upset with me because I was not jealous.

00:03:31:21 - 00:03:54:18
Unknown
She wanted me to be jealous because it was almost like an indicator of how much I loved her, which is strange. She she would get upset with me, like, why are you not jealous? What if I'm doing something like what if you're doing something? And here's my big point. If you're doing something that is is outside the scope of our relationship and our arrangement are monogamous, one on one relationship.

00:03:54:20 - 00:04:12:05
Unknown
If you are doing something, you're going to do it anyways. Even if I'm jealous or not, I find it to be a waste of time. And if I don't trust you, I don't want to be with you. If this is going to be the the embodiment of the relationship, I don't want to be with you. I don't have the time or the energy.

00:04:12:05 - 00:04:29:00
Unknown
And at this point, I'm way too old. My girlfriend, she can go anywhere she pleases. She can go with anyone she pleases. I will not monitor her. I will not check her phone. It's a rule. It is embedded into the relationship. I told her that from the very beginning. I won't check your phone. I won't ask you who you're with.

00:04:29:02 - 00:04:47:11
Unknown
I will give you trust because I love you. And if I'm going to love you and be in a relationship with you, I need to trust you. And it I. That means 100%. And some people might say, well, what if she's cheating on you? Well, it'll come out. It'll it'll come to light. It'll be obvious in the relationship.

00:04:47:11 - 00:05:09:15
Unknown
Something will happen. You know how it is with you in a relationship with the other person is cheating fucking around? Something. Something there. And there's probably a reason for you to start poking around. But for me, if I had to start poking around, then it's. That's already a reason enough not to be together. I don't know, it seems extreme, but that means to me that the trust is broken.

00:05:09:20 - 00:05:34:14
Unknown
And what's the point of a relationship if I have to spend time, energy and energy, I guess. Is it just time, energy and love? Love pursuing and checking up on who you with, who you talking to, who you texting? I find it to be stupid. Like I said, I can. I'm imagining some people might might call me out in the comments here.

00:05:34:14 - 00:05:55:10
Unknown
Feel free to do that if that's what you're into. I can take it. Or maybe not. Maybe I'll cry in bed because I'm weak. But I like to think that my approach is the smarter one. I just don't have the time. And that's my take on it. And that's what I told my hairstylist. She was actually blown away.

00:05:55:12 - 00:06:15:01
Unknown
Because I'm Mexican, whether you know it or not. And Mexicans are known for being the jealous types. And it's true. I was raised again. Like I said, but I do not feel that it is the best use of my time. The moment I feel jealousy or the other person feels jealousy, I'm out. I'm not going to play that and I'm not going to justify.

00:06:15:03 - 00:06:35:20
Unknown
And I don't want you to justify. And I believe that's why I do have a pretty awesome relationship with my partner, with my girlfriend. My fiancee. Oh, shit. Yeah. We're getting married, bro. Because I do trust her. And I believe her 1,000% that she is committed to me, and she believes it as well. And it is.

00:06:35:22 - 00:06:56:14
Unknown
So here's the payoffs. It is the most beautiful thing to not have to worry about that. I don't know. I don't know what I do with my energy. I feel like I create more, I don't know, I, I feel more free because that's a waste of energy, a waste of time. Go find someone that you can trust. And I did.

00:06:56:14 - 00:07:20:17
Unknown
I found my person. But that's, I guess, the parting lesson. Go find someone. If you're with someone that doesn't trust you or you don't trust them, move on from this old man. Has it? Have a good day. Thank you for tuning in. My name is Teevee. This is the, What is this? Oh, this is the first episode of the Becoming Better Ancestors.

00:07:20:17 - 00:07:38:13
Unknown
I don't think that this is going to be useful. A useful trait to have it to and be proud of for my descendants. And I hope that you, if you're watching this in the future, you understand and you hear me and you hear me haunting you, do not be jealous. And if you are, it's an indication of insecurity.

00:07:38:15 - 00:07:43:14
Unknown
Move on. Be more secure. Thank you for tuning in. My name is Teevee. Bye.