Men Talking About Their Emotions / When Brothers Talk

Teevee (00:00:00) - Hello, everyone, and welcome back to The Teevee Show Podcast. Joining me yet again is my good friend, best friend and road dog in some cases, Christopher San Christopher. How are you doing today? I'm happy, healthy and terrific. Damn, it's a good triangle of success. You know, you made it when you're all three. Well, we're back. And based on the popular feedback, I brought him back. This guy, man, he's famous. People love him. They love us. They love us once again. They love us. They do love us. And I do appreciate him for coming back. He is going to be a regular. And in addition to I may not say this already, but at least my older daughter is going to become a regular as well. She's already agreed. We haven't even aired that episode, but I think is going to be a fantastic opportunity for me to have a conversation with my my oldest seed. She doesn't. She is now 20, kicking ass, doing amazing things.

Teevee (00:01:00) - I'm not sure if the podcast will have dropped before this episode, but know that she will be a regular and it'll be interesting to be able to have conversations around. What she's doing, how she's navigating the world based on some of the crap I put in her head. Yeah, some of the brainwashing and coding that I put in there. Right. I would love to hear her perspective of being a child of yours. Right? Like because we've talked about your intentions for her, but I'd be curious to hear. That's a great point. You know, like how what was the experience like for her? Yep. You know, she'd better say no. So I worked my ass off. So many sacrifices. But that's exactly it. That is the reason for it, because I think that's actually something that's going to make us unique. Make this show unique is that we're going to have conversations with people that are like especially my children. The young woman has said that she's open to it as well, but she's going to go off to college.

Teevee (00:02:02) - So that's going to be a little different. But to hear firsthand experience, like what was it like? What have you learned? How are you benefiting? How are you navigating based on the stuff that this man has downloaded? It's going to be interesting, so stay tuned for that. But in the meantime. Here we go. Today there's going to be a short one. I'm going to keep it to one topic because I want to dig in on something and explore with you. He doesn't know yet because I want the conversation to be organic. By the way, we try not to rehearse these or even share what the topic is because I wanted to be organic and I want you to see his reaction and what actually we think about a given thing. So my question or my statement to you is this and we can basically workshop this because this is a topic that I a subject that I can't help but notice in the world. I've become a philosopher. I don't know if you notice I will be written like Socrates.

Teevee (00:02:56) - And no, I don't know. That's just. Is my ego talking? So as I've lived longer and longer, I can't help but realize this. And this kind of goes back to the episode on Happiness. It ties into that because. Everything. Yes, we have talked about this. So it would be interesting to see what your take on this is. Hold on. Bear with me. Everything in our lives, our emotions, our emotions are real. Yes, they're raw. Usually the first is a raw emotion based on something that happened to you, What you feel in that moment. You just got in a car wreck. Right. Got If you if it's obviously something that wasn't terrible, you're able to get out and be angry. You got dumped or you do the dumping, you name it. The first instinct you have is that emotional air. And then the emotions that continue from that are real. Those are all real. The best way for happiness to occur is if you manage your emotions.

Teevee (00:04:01) - Emotional management is something that I've kind of started a coin. I haven't heard it out there. Maybe it's mine. Damn it.

Chris (00:04:07) - The term out there is quite emotional regulation.

Teevee (00:04:10) - I like management better regulation. But you're not regulating it, okay? Because I feel that you can manage it based on managing expectations. Every disagreement or anything, just about that you have in your day to day life or long term, like in a marriage, in a in a monogamous, monogamous marriage. There is this expectation that is set based on the monogamous relationship that you are going to be with me and I am going to be with you and no one else. If someone steps outside that, then the expectation has been destroyed and now there's terrible feelings. But if you're in a relationship that's open and you both agree to that said relationship and and the expectation as such, then that then becomes a non well, there's still emotional emotions to manage there because I've heard enough stories around that. But it is not because of the fact that usually it's not because that you're both seeing other people.

Teevee (00:05:14) - But I think about this in everything. If if you're pissed at your friend. I'm trying to think of situations. Can you think of a moment recently where you might have been upset with someone and not the intellectual version of you where like, yeah, but this happened like you fell some way. There's a young kid, say, some sort of way you felt some sort of way about something.

Chris (00:05:35) - I think so. Yeah, I think. I mean, yeah, I can. I can.

Teevee (00:05:41) - Okay, give me the. Give me the scenario. If it's available for public.

Chris (00:05:46) - Yeah. No, this one, this one's.

Teevee (00:05:47) - It could be. It could be as simple as I wanted. I expected to be at work in 30 minutes and took 45.

Chris (00:05:54) - This is even more mild. Okay, good. So I have a group of friends. We play video games, and it's one of the ways that we bond because we just have so many different like we don't typically go to a bar and just drink, right? We'll play video games and connecting across the country.

Chris (00:06:11) - And the way they communicate, right, the way some of us communicate can be very grating sometimes. So I have to learn to.

Teevee (00:06:21) - Were you ever in that space where that was okay?

Chris (00:06:24) - Yeah, in the past. In the past. But then as I've grown, I don't really care for, you know, like this. This. This almost like this ritual amongst men where we have to talk each other first. Yeah. Yeah. And then showcase love. And I like. I still engage in it every now and then. But. But it's like every time. Yeah. I'm kind of over over that now. So. So I do get triggered sometimes. But then I just realized I control what I can control. And it's not like I haven't had conversations with x individuals about this, but they're going to keep doing what they're doing. And it is my choice to either continue engaging with them or not.

Teevee (00:06:59) - So would you say that you you've changed the way you operate and the way you kind of want to manage that you've shared it, so you gave them try to reset the expectations?

Chris (00:07:13) - Oh, I mean, many times.

Teevee (00:07:13) - You set the expectations and they have said in so many words through their behavior.

Chris (00:07:18) - Through their behavior. Right.

Teevee (00:07:19) - It's set in unsaid through their behavior that I don't care for that expectation. Yeah. So your expectation of them was unrealistic and that they don't care for it. So now either you choose to continue to participate or not, Right?

Chris (00:07:33) - I think that's that's me labeling it as unrealistic or that they don't care for it as me projecting onto them.

Teevee (00:07:40) - I they don't want to they don't want to match. Correct. You said what you said, Chris, but I'm going to continue being me.

Chris (00:07:47) - Exactly.

Teevee (00:07:47) - Like we don't have to label it. Exactly.

Chris (00:07:49) - Horrible. So so essentially they're going to continue being they're not everyone. Not everyone. So now it's my choice. Am I going to choose to accept them for what they are or am I going to do whatever? And if I choose, I have to understand what I'm opting in for.

Teevee (00:08:01) - So you have altered your expectations knowing that this individual, hey, they're still my buddies.

Teevee (00:08:07) - Yeah.

Chris (00:08:07) - And I still have a lot of love. It's just the way they come across. Maybe a bit uncouth, but.

Teevee (00:08:11) - And that's my point. So you have altered your expectations?

Chris (00:08:14) - Yes.

Teevee (00:08:15) - And I guess my point here is in any scenario where you feel like things aren't going well, uh, you can't help but you have to ask yourself, does the person, does the opposite party know that I have this expectation.

Chris (00:08:31) - Of, Oh, absolutely, yeah, yeah.

Teevee (00:08:33) - Yeah. So when I have we have I have arguments or disagreements with my girlfriend. I try to boil it down to that like, all right, what's the expectation that I'm not meeting right now? Why is she or why is she upset with me? I've literally and the sooner I can get there, like once I get past the raw emotion, like, well, the fuck is she mad at me? What's up right.

Chris (00:08:52) - Now? So let me be clear. Is this a topic about, like, the expectations? Yeah.

Chris (00:08:55) - Okay. So. That is a great topic because I find that most discourse in relationship comes from unsaid expectations. And usually we get triggered out on a get triggered or they may get triggered based on something that's not said. So now I have to take responsibility. Figure out what's going on with me. Express that to whoever and have them, you know, hopefully I've workshop this enough, but something else I've learned, actually, something else happened. I got. Yeah, because.

Teevee (00:09:24) - I'm gonna need you to. To finish the thought, though. Sorry.

Chris (00:09:27) - Sorry.

Teevee (00:09:27) - Unless you plan to come back.

Chris (00:09:28) - I'm coming back. I'm coming.

Teevee (00:09:29) - You got me coming down this road, and then I need to know if you're coming back.

Chris (00:09:33) - To this other. No, no, no, no. So. Okay. Truncated expectations, right? I don't think we always voice our expectations. So I always communicate to people. I try to just speak my truth, share my truth and have people opt in or opt out of my life.

Chris (00:09:49) - Yes. Right. Yes. Um, however, that's where I'm at now, right? I wasn't always there before. It used to take me a lot of time to process either my triggers or what my expectation even was to myself while I'm processing this. This there's still an ambiguity land. They don't know what's going on with me. I may be different. I may be doing. They have no idea what is wrong, what's wrong with it. And I can't communicate that right because I don't even know it for myself. So and they could help process that with me. Um, I just haven't been too open to that in the past, I guess. Um, but yeah, I'll get to that in a second. But I'm going in. Right, but, but, but I can't say which option is better, right? Like whether it's process it, I mean I guess if it's in a relationship maybe. But either way I think this value in just saying hey oh what I started started growing into is like, hey, I don't know the reason why I'm feeling this way, but this is how I'm feeling.

Chris (00:10:43) - And it's based off of you acting like that. And I try to be in a very demure tone, right? Because I don't want to be projecting. I don't want to at the tone. Yeah.

Teevee (00:10:51) - I don't take it.

Chris (00:10:52) - Somewhere and then I don't.

Teevee (00:10:53) - Want we got another.

Chris (00:10:54) - Then we have another issue. So I try to just be like, Hey, this is how I'm feeling. This is why I'm feeling this is what caused me to be triggered. I'm still processing this, but I wanted to make sure that you're aware of this because it is impacting our dynamics. Right? And I have learned because I've been this way, I want to fix it right now. I want to do this right now. Like, nah, take your time, man. Like, come on, bro. Like, really? So. And I've been that guy, right? Like, no, What? You. Yeah. So shut up. So. So now I've learned to respect that space because.

Chris (00:11:29) - Okay, you need time. Like, what's that like. There's a for types like anxious avoidant. Oh I don't even know. Secure like anyway. Yeah I'm.

Teevee (00:11:36) - Not sure. Okay I've never I've heard about these but it's not something I've dug into.

Chris (00:11:40) - So like I'm the kind of person where I want to talk about something now. Like if we have beef, I mean, you know, I've called you before, like, Hey.

Teevee (00:11:47) - I'm outside your door. We got to talk. Go for a walk. He's done that.

Chris (00:11:58) - What I've learned now is to to prep, give space and see, because not everybody's going to process things at the speed that I do. And, you know, just to give people time. But I have to reach my own conclusion. I understand about myself. So expectation is real. Communicate that and understand that for yourself.

Teevee (00:12:16) - So so to finish my story. Yes. Before you jumped off, which is fantastic. Thank you. Um. Every disagreement. It comes down to that.

Teevee (00:12:25) - So whenever I feel that something is off in the relationship with my girlfriend, it's unsaid. Sometimes it's things that are unsaid. Because if you get into a relationship, this is any relationship. There's so many expectations that we have of each other that we can't cover. We can't until you run into that expectation and then you either meet it or you exceed it. Happiness usually is when the expectation, the reality exceeds the expectation. This would have concluded in sadness. Anger is when the reality is nowhere near the expectation. So what I've tried to really do intentionally, especially in this, is where I can use this example with my girlfriend when I feel like something is off. And as far as I can tell, I've showed up well. But there's still something off. Like I check in like I've done something. I took the trash out. I always take the trash out. You know, I always take the trash out. Like, this is what I do. That's never an issue, ever, However.

Teevee (00:13:24) - But one time, when I finally kind of piece it together, I said, Babe, what specifically did I not do? What expectation did you not have? Did you have of me that I did not meet?

Chris (00:13:40) - That's that's powerful.

Teevee (00:13:41) - But it's catching. And I'm like, all right. And I may not even agree with it. It doesn't matter. But why? Why is this feeling? Why are you feeling this way? Clearly, it's something I didn't do. I think it may be outside of me that I'm going to find the question. Right. I'm going to find that through the question and questions. That's a whole nother topic. But and and that moment, that given day, she's like, Oh, that's a really good question. So she was like, she was in a state of shock because I was trying to because we can go through this back and forth. I'm like, Oh, what did I do wrong? I'm always here. You never appreciate me. Hey, and somewhat valid, but at the same time, now you're just going in circles.

Teevee (00:14:23) - Just get to the fucking root of it. What expectation did you have? And she's like, Oh, or what? Belief of my violating. That you believe something you believe that needs to exist for you. And that I didn't violate it. And she's like, damn, She answered it. She took a moment. She's like, Well. And then she answered it. And it was mind blowing because we just eliminated so much stress and drama by trying to get to the root of it. Because sometimes and if I remember correctly, this particular instance, she's like, I don't even know those are the and you needed time and she needed time. And it gave her a few more minutes. And then she thought there was like, Oh, I know what it is.

Chris (00:15:06) - So that's powerful. And man, just so many like previous history going in my head.

Teevee (00:15:15) - But go, go. I want to hear this.

Chris (00:15:18) - Well, you know, so I'm single, right? I'm single. Yes. Lady.

Teevee (00:15:22) - Sorry. Oh, wait. I mean, yeah, go for it.

Chris (00:15:26) - Anyway, I'm single, so I've had conversations with different people in my life and it's always like, Hey, this is how I feel. I could be off base. This is how you're feeling. Or I think maybe you're upset with me, whatever. Right? And just kind of falling on the sword. Because one thing I don't want to do is I don't want to have to think of I don't want to have to assume emotions. Right. One of my mentors and friends.

Teevee (00:15:57) - Says is what I'm seeing is what I'm feeling.

Chris (00:15:59) - Yeah, One of my mentors always says, Hey, men of amorous women are from Venus, right? Like, we tend to think differently, but communication is that bridge, right?

Teevee (00:16:08) - So here, what is your definition of a good communicator?

Chris (00:16:15) - I'm going to back step. Okay. I think the definition of a good space to facilitate communication is one where I don't feel like I have to walk on eggshells to express anything that I need to express to you.

Chris (00:16:26) - I don't think there will be any kind of negative blowback from me sharing anything, and that requires trust, right? Because something's true or not. I may feel like if I share this, it's going to create ink, so I may create some kind of negative blowback and I'll be a lot more hesitant to share. It's definitely within myself. I have to work on this within myself first before I even speak outward. But then once but once I have that, the ability for me to express what's going on with me in a manner that I'm not trying to victimize, villainize or tearing everybody down, but this is just how I'm feeling. And also receive that feedback that may be criticizing, which may be, yeah, you fucked up here or whatever, and being able to gracefully and tactfully take that, receive that process that okay, well, how can I do better, right? Because I can only do what I have the desire and will to do. And if something's.

Teevee (00:17:22) - If you know.

Chris (00:17:23) - Of course, and if I know know.

Teevee (00:17:24) - What, what what the target is. And then of course having the willingness and desire to.

Chris (00:17:30) - Yeah, but this is not just romantic relationship. This is friendship. This is any relationship. And that's my.

Teevee (00:17:34) - Point. Any relationship when your boys manage you because you haven't seen each other in a while and y'all y'all want to do something, play ball. And he has this expectation that you're going to do that and then all of a sudden you're not for whatever reason, right? Like this is across the board.

Chris (00:17:50) - Yeah, but this is usually this is like my favorite moment in any kind of relationship dynamic because having this conversation, your trust falling into the dynamic, you don't know what's going to happen. It could blow up. It could. It could. It could. Exactly. Exactly. Right. And that happens. But the ones that, you know, we're able to have this conversation and move forward despite of it, no matter, we don't even have to come to an agreement, just an awareness, because we may be totally different sides of the spectrum.

Chris (00:18:17) - Right.

Teevee (00:18:19) - As long as there's an actual connection between the two, then that's possible. That's possible. If if, if there isn't, then that means there was. Then the connection wasn't.

Chris (00:18:29) - How do you test fidelity? You got to stress test it.

Teevee (00:18:31) - You got to stress test it Now. Life will give you this. You should be able to argue, debate, call each other out and stress test the.

Chris (00:18:39) - Healthy manner.

Teevee (00:18:40) - In a healthy. Yeah, absolutely. In a healthy manner. I'm not saying throw anything at each other, but you should be able to because you're going to have arguments. And if you can't stress test it, then then.

Chris (00:18:50) - What? I mean, should I have arguments with myself that I have to do? I have my parents, my friend, Like it's just you're.

Teevee (00:18:56) - Going to be fighting with the different sides of.

Chris (00:18:58) - Yourself. Exactly. So but any time we've moved past that, we've gone through it and it works out, it's like, ha! Okay.

Teevee (00:19:08) - So I was talking to a friend of mine, Sue, and on this podcast and she said that we spoke. It's funny that y'all both made the same kind of connection. She said that I forgot how she verbalized it, but she said something along the lines of resolution after a big blow up of some sort leads to growth. Yes. And and I'm like, oh, that. Might and happiness like joy, like we just made it through that we're still good. Yes. And in a romantic relationship, make up sex. That's why it's so damn good. It's like we made it through that we were able to figure it out and. And we still love each other. Like, let's go to bed. Let's bang it out.

Chris (00:19:48) - Yeah. One thing I'm always constantly appreciating of people that they accept me as I am. Right? Because, you know, I think we mentioned this on one of the previous podcast, like even in our friendship dynamic, we're not this. We're not always here, right? We don't you know, I may be wherever I am in the world, you may be wherever you are and we may talk frequently, may talk infrequently.

Chris (00:20:07) - But whenever we do connect, there's no real discourse. It's like, come on, let's let's break bread. What's going on? Some other people. That's a big issue, right? And it's an insurmountable issue. So it's okay. Like we all have this.

Teevee (00:20:19) - So I'm just really trying to package it around this. This. Okay, my bad. No, no, no, you're not. You're not wrong. I just want to make sure to still put the framework around it. It's like. And they're upset because they have some expectation of you. Yeah.

Chris (00:20:32) - Yeah. Insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I try to like, Look, I'm going to.

Teevee (00:20:36) - But they still have the. Their expectation hasn't shifted. It's like, yeah but so it's like Mm. I heard some break so and then that's my big point with this conversation and it's the chapter is a big premise in my philosophy and what I want to include in the book. So it's me sharing. This is like, all right, what do you think? Literally almost every single thing, every moment that we're upset, we I say, I want to go for a walk in the park.

Chris (00:21:04) - Okay.

Teevee (00:21:05) - So I set the expectation, go for a walk in the park because it's sunny. All of a sudden it starts raining. Then I can feel emotional about the fact that, God damn it, I really wanted to go walking. Now it's fucking raining. The reality became that that wasn't going to happen. So I can change my expectation or I can nod and be. And I mean, you name a moment, something that you're upset about or happy. What? When you were happy, what happened? It was probably something happened that exceeded your expectation and managing that. The reason I bring it back to management is like perpetually managing our expectation. Like, oh, well, I can't ask. This person is not going to be loyal to me in a romantic relationship, in a monogamous relationship. So therefore I either alter my agreement or I just need to move on. So yeah, you see, like I need to change my expectation or not have of this person. Carlo has told me this like she realized, okay.

Teevee (00:22:04) - I'm going to share this. I've shared this publicly, but she said this to me once and it really made me happy. And she, like I realize with you Teevee. That I wasn't asking for too much. Okay. I was just asking the wrong person. So her expectation was good and realistic. It was just not the right person. So this is what I mean. It's not just like, oh, in any given moment, but who? You have them.

Chris (00:22:30) - Yeah. And I think that's like just level setting, right? Like whenever as you know, I meet a lot of people, right? So as people get to know me, one of the things I like telling her like, Hey, this is who I am, this is what I'm about, blah, blah, blah. Opt in, opt out.

Teevee (00:22:43) - Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. You're saying these are. This is.

Chris (00:22:46) - Me? Yeah. And that's based off of, you know, having those kind of discourse like, Oh man, I probably should have warned this person in the past, like you live in, you know, dance all.

Teevee (00:22:54) - The time and. And I'm going to be home and yeah, there's women, but it's cool, you know, I'm going to be cool with you.

Chris (00:23:00) - Whatever it is. Like, you have to be able I'll be out.

Teevee (00:23:03) - Late at night.

Chris (00:23:04) - Set that expectation and and give people the opportunity to understand, right? You just got to be upfront with yourself and just set expectations and and things change as we move along. Right.

Teevee (00:23:16) - And that's the thing, though, because you can't set every expectation. You can't you set the high level ones, right?

Chris (00:23:21) - When we first kicked off our friendship, we were talking very consistently, almost on a daily basis, but then life got in the way and we got busy and all that stuff, but we just shifted our expectations. But the love, the brotherhood, the camaraderie was still is still there, right? I mean, the fact that we're here, right? So yeah, it's just shifting that expectation.

Teevee (00:23:41) - As it needed.

Chris (00:23:41) - As needed. But to be.

Teevee (00:23:43) - And for the people that deserve it. And if it's something that should be shifted, if it's something that's true, your belief system like, Yeah, well, you just murdered someone, man. I can't be friends with a murderer.

Chris (00:23:54) - Damn.

Teevee (00:23:54) - Yeah, right. I'm. I want to really stretch it out there to really make the point. Right. Okay. Oh, God. Like, I don't know. You just ran a red light and killed someone. I don't know. That was a terrible one. Sorry.

Chris (00:24:07) - But we got to talk after this break.

Teevee (00:24:10) - I haven't been to therapy recently. Mm. That's it. That was my big thing because I just can't help but see it everywhere. Like now I just see, like, I want to illustrate it. I see it in everything. Someone's unhappy. What was the expectation you had? What's what's what are you unhappy about? Okay. What expectation did you have?

Chris (00:24:33) - And it's okay. I also want to preface this. If somebody breaks your expectation like being unhappy is a normal response.

Teevee (00:24:40) - So yeah, I definitely don't want to diminish that. Your emotions are real. Yeah, Maybe you had the real maybe you had an expectation, maybe even agreed to it. And homie over here broke it and like, now we got to talk. Like, what's happening? Yeah, like your emotions being upset, being angry, being sad, being happy. These are all valid, but you actually have to check, especially when it's probably sad or angry or something like why? Oh, I know why. And hopefully given the framework to. Um, being able to boil it down like, Hey, I expected you to be here at eight in this 1030.

Chris (00:25:15) - Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was a little late for this podcast today.

Teevee (00:25:19) - Luckily, I built in time for that, so it was cool. So you're good. So my expectation was, Hey, we're good. I don't think no less of you. Thank you.

Chris (00:25:28) - No. Um, great topic. Great topic. Great topic.

Chris (00:25:32) - Expectations, Right? Yeah.

Teevee (00:25:34) - So with that, we shall end it today. Yes, it is a short one. Or did you have something?

Chris (00:25:40) - Let's keep going for a little.

Teevee (00:25:41) - You want to go keep what you got?

Chris (00:25:42) - What you. I think that's something you got.

Teevee (00:25:44) - No, no. Do you.

Chris (00:25:45) - Have one? I don't. I don't.

Teevee (00:25:46) - You didn't come with one.

Chris (00:25:47) - I can't. I was going to.

Teevee (00:25:49) - Set an expectation.

Chris (00:25:50) - You did. And I did have one. But we we altered the well. We altered the plan to do a little bit more shorter today. So I was like, we probably won't have time.

Teevee (00:25:58) - Okay, okay. Okay. I was just a random one.

Chris (00:26:02) - Oh.

Teevee (00:26:03) - What do you admire most about your parents?

Chris (00:26:05) - Oh, yeah, I saw that. And I'm smiling. Mommy. Daddy. I love you guys. You're about to see them. Yeah, I got to go see them. And my sister, of course. Um. Man.

Chris (00:26:18) - So my. What do I admire about my parents? My parents live very intentional lives, and it's important to me that I can live in style my life however I want. So my life style is mine to to manage. And yes, there's some cultural things that they would probably like. I do more. There's probably some like, I should have grandchildren by now. Right?

Teevee (00:26:43) - Just for context, can you share a little bit about your background?

Chris (00:26:46) - Oh yeah. So I'm Thank you. So I'm gonna an American born in New York, raised in Ghana and I've lived across the various cities and countries of the world and my parents, my family dynamic is a bit weird because we're all, I guess, nomadic in a sense. Are you really? Well, y'all are like that. Well, my.

Teevee (00:27:07) - Mom. I mean, maybe because you have to go from Africa here. Is that what you're saying?

Chris (00:27:10) - Yeah. And then, like my extended families and like the UK and, you know, so like, Christmas is hard, bro.

Chris (00:27:14) - I mean, you.

Teevee (00:27:15) - Just live in different places. We just live.

Chris (00:27:16) - In different places.

Teevee (00:27:17) - Okay, so I guess you're moving around. All right.

Chris (00:27:19) - I'm. I'm moving around. Yeah, well, me and my sister. Well, my sisters go in different places, too, so. So for me, being able to. That's not common. A lot of people's families stay in one location. Right?

Teevee (00:27:32) - Lived down the street.

Chris (00:27:35) - Um, all of them. So. So. So that's. But to. They all had plans for their life that they wanted to execute on and they wanted to support each other through. And I thought that was beautiful. And being able to see that play out through the dual, my life experience really let me know that my emotions are valid, how I want to live life is valid and. You know, I'm proud that they instilled that in me that this that I you know, I can freestyle this life based on what decisions I think is going to make me happy.

Chris (00:28:10) - And I like that freestyle. Yeah.

Teevee (00:28:12) - Because it's all.

Chris (00:28:12) - Improv. It's all improv. I mean, correct me wrong. I don't know if anybody else have a Yeah, maybe you guys have been here before and you remember your past lives.

Teevee (00:28:18) - How you been rehearsing your scenes?

Chris (00:28:20) - Yeah, but even if you are being reincarnated, this is a different time with different people, with different technology, with different things. So it's still freestyling, but having the ability to navigate based on my happiness and what I desire is very empowering because I'm going to always try and make decisions based on my happiness and bliss. As long as I'm not being malicious towards anybody, I'm not being petty like I'm, you know, just trying to focus on what makes me happy and allowing others to space to do that as well, kind of what we're talking about with expectations. Yeah. So I'm really I'm really proud that they, they, I think I shared before in the last podcast about like the quote my father shared about lifestyle.

Chris (00:28:58) - Yes, yes. And for those. Yeah. Like don't think about how much money or cars or whatever you want but really think about the kind of lifestyle you want to live and back into that. So when I was younger, I was thinking about the kind of man that I want to be. What kind of how do I want to process my emotions? How do I want to be in terms of a physical sense, You know, like, you know, I'm not a method man. I'm a method man.

Teevee (00:29:18) - Hey, hey. I see what you did there. You clearly from New York.

Chris (00:29:23) - Thanks anyway. Facts, though. Um, but, um, but yeah, so that's what I really admire about my parents, my sisters. The same way I really love the way that she takes life by the horns and she just goes after what she wants. She's little. Yeah, so that's a little long winded answer, but that's cool.

Teevee (00:29:48) - That was the point.

Chris (00:29:49) - Yeah.

Teevee (00:29:50) - I just.

Teevee (00:29:51) - It's something. It's beautiful. I, I hear the love in your voice. And before, like, even before the questioning. Before you answered it. Yeah. We've talked. Not a lot, but just enough to get a good impression. Yeah. They've clearly inspired you and done some things well with you that because. So this is my chance to give him some roses because he did a bunch of that in the previous show. So in many ways he is a version of me just much more handsome and darker and African. Um, but he's got things that I'm only learning now or learned Latin in my later life, which is, which is fine. That was my journey. But you clearly were given some things or instructed and mentor, tutored, programmed at a young age for you to review, for things to for you to learn things later, early on in life, earlier in life than I did. And watching you grow and asking you do some crazy things and awesome things like, Man, I'd never thought about doing that at a young age or asking those questions.

Teevee (00:30:57) - The whole council of of a friends council of friends, I started to call Council of Elders because they might get offended if we call them elders. But I'm I'm impressed. And there's a reason for that. It's the parenting. It's like we just said that even that quote from your father about, you know, backing your way into it, that's genius. And it's something that I learned. And actually, I may have paid a thousands of dollars to learn from someone. Who do you want to be? What kind of person do you want to be? What kind of habits does that person have? Start doing those now and work your way towards that.

Chris (00:31:32) - Yeah, and thank you. And you know, I love my parents, but I can't give them all the credit, right? Because I've had. Damn it.

Teevee (00:31:40) - You just ruined the show.

Chris (00:31:42) - I've had. I've had, you know, father figures, mother figures in various parts of my life. And but one thing my parents did do well is plant that seed of why, why, you know, any decision.

Chris (00:31:55) - Why, why, why, why? So that trains you to think. And from that jumping off point of the young age, I sought out those mentors, those friends, those connections. You know, again, people who are living lives or doing things that I wish to be a part of or wish to grow into.

Teevee (00:32:10) - Did I ask you in a previous show how you came up with that? Like, did you read a book and said, Hey.

Chris (00:32:14) - I've read several books.

Teevee (00:32:16) - Okay? Because I wish I had read that sooner. Now I surround myself with those individuals. But yeah, for you that you need those people, the people that you're around.

Chris (00:32:25) - So I think people imagination is one of them because, you know, being raised in Ghana, we we have these things called light off, right. Where power just goes off. Yeah. And you're, you're, you're, you're just in a dark for an extended period of time or you got to be cool with this. You got to be cool with it.

Chris (00:32:40) - So that one gives you a chance to reflect. If you're not going to distract or do something at a very young age because you can't watch Teletubbies or Teletubbies is a show that I'm.

Teevee (00:32:50) - Familiar with it.

Chris (00:32:51) - A lot of Americans aren't. Yeah, yeah.

Teevee (00:32:53) - I remember Teletubbies when the girls were little.

Chris (00:32:55) - Yeah. Um, so. So you have a lot of time to reflect. And I used to read a lot, a lot of different books, self-help books, fiction, Harry Potter, all that stuff. And I think we've talked about this a lot, this concept of imagination and playfulness, right? Yes. So even if I like leveraging imagination to create an environment that would nurture the habits and stuff that I wanted to get to and imagine the kind of people that I want to be around. So in real life, when I identify somebody who meets that expectation of a person that I went to, I was like, Damn, I got to interact with her a little bit more, interact with him a little bit more, like he can give me some information, She can inspire me in different ways and be like different inspiration.

Chris (00:33:37) - I think that's the autistic ness of life because we're all artists, right? And our life is the canvas. How vivid are your colors? How spit, poets spit?

Teevee (00:33:50) - To carry on. Thank you. Your next verse.

Chris (00:33:53) - For my next verse drop. Anyway, um, so. So that's. That's how I came about it. I mean, but the truth, the truest story, though. And. Oh, wow.

Teevee (00:34:05) - You've been lying to us. So sorry.

Chris (00:34:06) - But that's what I'm saying. But. But, like, if I had to tell you the inception, right, The inception of it, of this train of thinking was when I was young again, in those times in Ghana, I was watching.

Teevee (00:34:16) - How it's all these young memories.

Chris (00:34:18) - That. Yeah, yeah. Cause it started off really young for me, right? Like I was watching. I don't remember what show I was at my grandmother's place and Ghana and a place called Tantra Hill. So shout out Tantra hill. Um, um.

Chris (00:34:31) - Okay. So, um, anyway, anyway, so I'm an idiot. Somebody. I was watching some kind of cartoon in the main character died. Right? And I'm just a cartoon. This is catchy, right? This is a cartoon, right? And I'm like, Wait, you mean in that back in the next episode.

Teevee (00:34:53) - She broke your little heart.

Chris (00:34:53) - And we're like, So wait, the person is not coming back? Like, wait, people can just cease to exist, huh?

Teevee (00:35:00) - You have a conversation with your parents after that?

Chris (00:35:02) - Maybe. But. But but that made me feel left on a different thing. Can I cease to exist?

Teevee (00:35:07) - Oh.

Chris (00:35:09) - Can I die? Shit. If I can die. I wonder what that's like. So I would spend a lot of years trying to simulate a death like state. To understand what the. What? I haven't told you this.

Teevee (00:35:18) - No. What kind of kid were you, man?

Chris (00:35:22) - But.

Teevee (00:35:22) - But some morbid.

Chris (00:35:23) - Shit. But.

Chris (00:35:24) - Yeah, but hear me out. Hear me out. So as a kid. So as a kid, I'm trying to simulate death, right? So I'm like, okay, well, so metaphorically.

Teevee (00:35:31) - Right? Let me finish.

Chris (00:35:33) - So I'm like, okay, when people are dying, what are they doing? They usually are dead. They just still they don't move. So I put myself.

Teevee (00:35:43) - Six.

Chris (00:35:44) - Seven. I was a child. I was like maybe even eight. I was a child. Okay? So I said, okay, they aren't moving. So I would get into a position where I can be comfortable and I would just not move. Okay, they're not talking. Shut up. Um, they obviously can't see. Close your eyes. Okay. They're still. But they're not breathing. Slow your breath. Okay, well, this is so. I've been meditating for that long. I didn't recognize that's what it was because I was just trying to simulate death. My journey towards death led me towards meditation in a very young age, and because of that, I became aware of my internal thoughts.

Teevee (00:36:19) - Yeah, because that's what meditation does. Like your thoughts.

Chris (00:36:22) - So. So at a young age, I became aware of not just this external around with this internal environment and that plus this, that internal dialogue and that plus the seeds that were given to me through my parents and the community. I had the understanding or at least their awareness to begin to try and water those seeds. So that's really where it all began. And the singular question is why? Why, why am I getting angry? Why am I happy? Why am I upset? Why does this trigger me? Why does this bring me joy? Why do I like this? Why do I why, why, why, why? And and you find.

Teevee (00:36:52) - Out that it was an expectation.

Chris (00:36:54) - Or whatever it is, it could I mean, whatever it is, because some things I don't know. Right. But. But you're right. I mean, I just. So that's how I really got started on this. And then because I had that awareness, any piece of advice somebody would give me, I can penetrate that deeper and I can actualize that more, Right? So yeah, so that's how I really, really got started.

Chris (00:37:16) - If you wanted to go that deep, I thought we would have trusted.

Teevee (00:37:18) - No, I've never heard that story about you playing dead. Damn. Yeah, but I mean, that's pretty cool. Like, it's interesting because I did some things as a child that now makes sense. I can't think of. I was actually thinking about this earlier. I CAN'trillionEMEMBER What it was specifically like, Oh, damn, this thing I used to do, which I thought was just a random thing, now serves me like the little things that you did as a child or you were introduced to as a child. Insignificant at the moment, literally. What was it? I feel like it was. I don't even know. But it was insignificant. But it's a vital part of my life. So not surprising. Yeah. How are you? Good.

Chris (00:37:59) - No. Excuse me. Sorry, guys. This is going to be a short one.

Teevee (00:38:02) - Yeah, this needs to be a short one. Let's wrap it up.

Chris (00:38:04) - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Chris (00:38:06) - But that was great.

Teevee (00:38:07) - He gave me a time limit earlier right before we got on, and then he threw a curveball. Well, trying to honor. Well, actually.

Chris (00:38:14) - We can do. We can do six more minutes.

Teevee (00:38:15) - What are we going to talk about for six? You can't do six, because if we do six, we're doing 18 or 20. We're going to end it there. I'm making an executive decision. Okay.

Chris (00:38:25) - We'll talk. Yeah. No, no. I mean, he's going to bring me back, and I believe you're going to have his daughter next who is phenomenal. Both of them are. Yes. Yes. I got a it's okay.

Teevee (00:38:35) - I don't think less of him, in case you're wondering, like, oh, my God, they're having an argument in real life.

Chris (00:38:40) - They don't they know they're they're fine.

Teevee (00:38:44) - He he gave me a time limit. I was trying to honor it so, like. And we can talk.

Chris (00:38:48) - So, yeah, we can talk.

Teevee (00:38:50) - This is going to be a whole lot more like already this ending is become five minutes, you know?

Chris (00:38:56) - Right. I know, but this is cool. I'm happy to engage in dialogues like this. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you again for bringing me back and to the listeners out there far and wide. Thank you for engaging with our content worldwide and enjoying the material that just our thoughts and how we approach life. Because without you guys we wouldn't be doing this right.

Teevee (00:39:16) - Please leave us some questions like us, feed us, eat us, send us money.

Chris (00:39:21) - Yeah, why not? No, that's not a thing. Okay. Buttons? No.

Teevee (00:39:26) - Donate to the cause.

Chris (00:39:28) - Try to.

Teevee (00:39:28) - Pay and.

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Teevee (00:39:32) - Leave us a review. I appreciate you for listening. Thank you very much. My name is Teevee with The Teevee Show Podcast.

Chris (00:39:39) - And this is Chris. Sam, Thank you so much. One load.

Teevee (00:39:42) - Two, love. Bye bye.