The $50 Christmas Experiment That Changed My Daughters' Lives & Eliminated Xmas Stress Forever

00:00:00:03 - 00:00:22:02
Unknown
Today, I want to tell you a story about how $50 helped me teach my daughters the value of money and teach them as well. That money doesn't grow on trees, while at the same time kept me from ever having to worry about Christmas again. Ever, ever, ever. Like I don't worry about Christmas till this day. The story takes place in 2010, but first, let me give you some context.

00:00:22:03 - 00:00:41:15
Unknown
Why was this important to me? So there's a few reasons, but number one about them all is that I hated the idea of of raising a couple of kids and little jerks that felt a sense of obligation about everything and lived in my house and called me dad. That idea was something that tortured me because I would have created them and made them to be these little jerks.

00:00:41:15 - 00:01:00:10
Unknown
And on top of that, I knew it was going to be hard to teach them this vague idea that even adults struggle with. It was 2010 when the lesson became concrete, but before that, I actually saw the problem. In 2009, I just quit my job and are visiting a friend, for Christmas. They were giving gifts that were doing this thing.

00:01:00:10 - 00:01:17:08
Unknown
I didn't have my girls at the time they were with their mother, but, they were exchanging gifts within the family. And the little boy. He must have been 4 or 5, six. Must have had a gone in 2000. Must have got like a dozen gifts and by the time he got to number 12, he's happy. They kept coming, the gifts kept coming.

00:01:17:08 - 00:01:38:06
Unknown
And then obviously, they ended, as all gifts do. And when they did end, let me tell you, this kid lost his mind. He was crying so bad that it broke my heart, actually, because it felt painful. But it also made me feel bad for the parent because they're like, okay, I just got you all these gifts and you're still not happy.

00:01:38:06 - 00:01:56:01
Unknown
Oh no. What am I going to do? Calm down. Like we can't. There's there's a limit, right? The things end right. Things do end now. Who's at fault here? Is it the kid for being a pretentious little jerk? For being entitled and feeling like they should just keep coming? Or is it the parent? I hate to say that is anyone's fault.

00:01:56:03 - 00:02:15:13
Unknown
However, the responsibility does fall on the parent because I do feel that this is a learned behavior. So I said to myself, self, what can I do? What can I do different? Because I'm probably going to do the exact same thing if I'm not careful. What can I do different? So I thought was this idea that I would enact, this, this next coming year.

00:02:15:13 - 00:02:32:12
Unknown
And that's what I'm about to lay out. Now, remember, as I said earlier, I was broke. I just quit my job. I was living in my parent's house, and I was starting a business and trying to figure out how to get people to giving me money to do things for them. So it was a big challenge. I didn't know where I was going to be in a year.

00:02:32:12 - 00:02:56:04
Unknown
So this was January. I'm starting to think it through, and I didn't know where I was going to be in a year for the next Christmas, how I was going to be able to afford anything. I was pretty sure that I wasn't going to have much money. However, what I ended up doing was this I knew that I had a bank account that had, at my bank that had this feature where if for every purchase you made, they would deposit, they would withdraw a dollar from your checking account and put it into your savings account.

00:02:56:04 - 00:03:14:00
Unknown
It's like a undercover stashing thing that they did. And that way you didn't feel it as bad. So ideally, by the end of the year, you have a few hundred dollars that you stashed, that you can use for emergency or Christmas or whatnot. So I was going to play with that idea. I knew that that was a thing.

00:03:14:00 - 00:03:30:02
Unknown
So I figured by the end of the year, if I was a good boy and I didn't blow it or had a ton of emergencies, I would have some cash. That's where the funds were going to come from. All right. Next I told my girls, like in July or so. I said, hey girls, this year for Christmas, I'm not going to give you any gifts.

00:03:30:02 - 00:03:47:03
Unknown
So I made it really scandalous. I'm not going to give you any gifts or like, oh no, what do you mean? Why wouldn't you give us any gifts? Are we bad? I'm like, no, no, no. What I am going to do is I'm going to each give you each some money. And I didn't know how much yet. It ended up being $50 each.

00:03:47:03 - 00:04:01:15
Unknown
But I'm going to give you some money. We're going to take you to the store. We're going to take you to the bank, you're going to get the money. And then when you go to the store and then you're going to buy whatever you want to take. Whoa, $50 that they didn't know yet. This is later, but nonetheless I'm going to we can buy whatever.

00:04:01:17 - 00:04:20:12
Unknown
Yeah. Whatever. Candy? Yes. Toys. Yes. Whatever you want. It's going to be your money, but you're going to have to choose. You're going to have to choose. It'll be your choice. But you do with that money. All right. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Great. So the anticipation was being billed every month or so I'd say. Hey girls is getting close is getting close.

00:04:20:12 - 00:04:36:07
Unknown
We're not going to get you anything. I'm not going to get you anything. Hahaha. So it became kind of a joke. And to this day they of when they tell the story, they do say that and it makes me happy because here's an interesting little insight is make it a story. Make it a make it an experience. Because they're going to remember that and they're going to it's going to actually stick.

00:04:36:07 - 00:05:01:05
Unknown
So more on that in a bit. So the day finally arrived December 26th. So it was actually the day after, as a general rule, the entire time that I've been divorced, I don't get the girls on the actual holiday and more on that in the other. A later video where I say I can share with you what the thinking was there and why I chose to do that at a very early age and very early on in the divorce.

00:05:01:07 - 00:05:18:10
Unknown
So anyways, I got them on December 26th. Pick them up. Whoo! Everybody's happy. They're excited because we've been talking about it. So they're pumped. They're energetic. Go to the bank, Wells Fargo I used to be. We'll call you. But then. But that's another story right. So we go to Wells Fargo, drive up. And this is what's important to me.

00:05:18:12 - 00:05:44:08
Unknown
It has to be an experience. It has to be something that involves their entire little bodies. Anyways, we go down, go to the check, go to the front counter. Young lady asks what we want. We're here to withdraw some money. $50 in the her. Please give me, you know, smaller bills so we can split it up. So I wanted them to feel like ten, 20, 30, 40, 52, 20, 30, 40, 50.

00:05:44:10 - 00:06:05:05
Unknown
I don't think they've ever held that much money in their hands before that. So that had to be like a whoa, that's this is crazy. They have the money. We walk out, they're so excited. And I think like for a moment thinking this through at them right now, as I think this through right now, I can't help but feel like there was this moment of like, I am rich because they're kids.

00:06:05:07 - 00:06:25:03
Unknown
So, just so you know, at the time there were seven and five. My oldest was seven and my younger oldest five. So he's seven and five, and they each had $50. All right. What are we doing next. We're going to target. How? Drop. Get in the car. Head to target. We go over the general rules of this entire thing once again, buy whatever you want.

00:06:25:04 - 00:06:50:19
Unknown
You buy all candy, I don't care. But it's really important. That is your choice. Fantastic. Toys? Yes. Candy at sip. I mean, you can't help but wonder what's going on. Their little head. All those money, all this candy, all these toys will. Fantastic. We get to target, we walk around, we end up in the big toy section.

00:06:50:21 - 00:07:09:10
Unknown
Big. We have a basket, by the way. Grab a little basket to do till head to the, big toy section. They always love it there when we go, but we've never been able to buy too much. And my girl, big girl starts chunking some big stuff in there. So does my little girl, because she's kind of just essentially mirroring what the big one is doing, what the older one is doing, boom, boom, boom.

00:07:09:10 - 00:07:26:03
Unknown
Or we look at the prices. When, when, when was it like a plush toy was like $30 was. And I think another one was like 10 or $15. And right here we go. Oh, we're at 45, 40, 45 and we're doing the math. And she has $5 left. You're like, oh, it big. One of the little one does the same.

00:07:26:03 - 00:07:44:14
Unknown
She's good at math. So she does her calculation. She's a 40 to 45 as well because she's pretty much just mirroring what the young older one is doing. Don't ask all right. Then my older one says to me, dad, yes, can we go to the art section? I said, oh, of course, of course. We go to the art section.

00:07:44:16 - 00:08:06:20
Unknown
We're artists. It's a big deal for me. I have art everywhere since we they've been a little bitty girls. We we write, we we paint, we draw, we, we make a mess. Watercolors are a favorite. Paper everywhere. Pencils, crayons, sharp. All those things. Here, grab a little basket, head over to the to the, art section, and her eyes light up.

00:08:06:20 - 00:08:35:14
Unknown
She starts chunking more stuff in there. Pens, markers, paper, paper brushes. Dadada. She comes back to me, she says, well, I can get like ten things for $20, $25 and still have $25 left. I said, now, Sato, you still have to pay taxes. So she just think it's like, okay, that's 8.25 anywhere in dollars. So we do a little math and she's like, okay, fine.

00:08:35:18 - 00:08:58:09
Unknown
So it's closer to 27, 28 maybe. Let's just say 30 for for rounding purposes. Great. Fantastic $30. But I still have 20. Whoa. Oh. So little brain blows up. She, she had in that moment realized I can have more stuff with less money. And I also think that she realized that she could have a lot more fun with this stuff.

00:08:58:09 - 00:09:28:17
Unknown
She can create, she could paint. She loves art. She loves this entire process because they're my kids. We do it all the time. So she says to me and asks, can I put the big toys back in? Just keep the art stuff? Abso lutely. Of course you can. And then the young woman says, me too. I use Color Me Too, because essentially anything that older woman would do, she would do and she would say, Michael, do you have me?

00:09:28:17 - 00:09:48:20
Unknown
Do you can I guess we can have a dollar. So she did, and she had done the math and she had reason I understood, her older sister's reasoning. But I think in that particular moment, she started to understand that there's this limited supply of money that I have just given you. You can buy what you want, but there is a limit to it.

00:09:48:20 - 00:10:13:07
Unknown
You have to make choices. You have to decide what's more important, what you will value more, what's going to give you more joy. And that I think, was the moment that the lesson became concrete, because from that point forward, we have never, ever had to worry about me giving them money for just money sake. They don't ask for things that don't matter when they do.

00:10:13:07 - 00:10:35:14
Unknown
Ask for money is usually within the within reason they've never asked for flamboyant things. They understand that it cost money and I think, if I remember correctly, also told them that most people, including myself, to up to a certain point not too long before that might make might make $10 an hour if they're lucky. I just gave them $50 each.

00:10:35:16 - 00:11:06:23
Unknown
So like I had to work five hours roughly. You know, that's not include taxes. They're five hours to make sure that I could give them these $50, five hours of my life. I had to go somewhere or do something for them to have this money, because somebody paid it to me. Like there's a wage. So asking and making sure that they understood that there's actual life that has to be devoted to giving up to get this money, that they would then in turn turn into whatever they wanted to purchase.

00:11:06:23 - 00:11:28:17
Unknown
And in some cases, you want to make sure that that's food in a house and whatnot. And they understood. So I use that $10 mark as a way, whenever they would ask for something that was a bit more expensive, like how many hours of life are you willing to trade for that thing? Whether it be my life, for your life, $10 at $10 an hour or 1015, whatever that number may be, how many hours of your life are you willing to trade off?

00:11:28:17 - 00:11:49:21
Unknown
And they got it. They get it. And that for me, was one of the biggest lessons. And I must admit, I feel like I may have too soon. That was where I felt like I had reached parenting heaven at. I had figured it all out, I didn't, I might, I got lucky a little bit, but I did set some some things in motion, and I.

00:11:49:23 - 00:12:10:07
Unknown
I definitely feel good about myself because it was important. I, I really easily avoided a ton of other issues that could have become more complicated. And I think one of the biggest ones as well, if I can throw this in here, is just the sense of appreciation. Like whatever you do see, whatever money is being spent has taken some form of life.

00:12:10:07 - 00:12:35:11
Unknown
It took someone someone's life hours out of their life to create the income, to create the revenue, to be able to purchase those things. And an appreciation is a very funny thing. We talk about it all the time nowadays. Like kids just need to appreciate when people need to appreciate as a hard thing to teach. If you don't actually make it something that they can actually feel and understand concretely, especially for children, even adults don't appreciate it.

00:12:35:13 - 00:12:55:07
Unknown
So how can you reproduces when we're one? Set an expectation. It doesn't have to be for Christmas, but set an expectation in the future that next month, for example, on January 31st, I'm going to give you $50 and then we're going to do this thing, set the expectation, build it up, take them, solve them in the car, put money in their hand.

00:12:55:12 - 00:13:12:11
Unknown
All this to me is really important is that that they can actually feel this entire thing. You could also tell them that they should experience, that they should feel this thing, but or that they should know these things, but it's not going to work, especially with children. They need to feel with every sense in their body what it's like to do these things.

00:13:12:11 - 00:13:31:18
Unknown
So build expectation, get them excited, give them the money, take them to the bank. Ideally give them cash so they can feel the money. Take them to the store. Give them permission, let them wander. And I do think I got lucky that my daughter figured that out on her own, and that it helped the learning happen. I didn't have to force it.

00:13:32:00 - 00:13:54:11
Unknown
It really just kind of came out of them. And I do feel that children are brilliant if they're allowed to let their mind run, if we push them and nudge them. But if for you you have issues and you want to try this out, here's a few prompts that I came up with that would have helped to ensure questions, to ensure that they do end up where you want them to, and then start having the conversations.

00:13:54:13 - 00:14:12:17
Unknown
So number one is if you say some of this money, what could you do with it later? Because that's one of the lessons that my big girl got, like, hey, you can spend this stuff. I can spend it on fewer things, and I'll have some more to do with other things with it later. So ask that question. If you save some of this money, what could you do with that later?

00:14:12:19 - 00:14:31:18
Unknown
Number two, if you get this one big item, what might you have to give up? Because this one big item is $30, $40. And then there's these other things that you could get maybe even have them grab other things that are less expensive. So what do you have to give up? One is saving. You won't be saving as much.

00:14:31:18 - 00:14:49:21
Unknown
You won't be getting as much stuff to get as much stuff. So asking that question should help as well. Number three is and this goes back to what I was talking about earlier, is how many hours do you think someone would have to work to earn $50? That change how you feel about spending it? So mommy has to go.

00:14:49:23 - 00:15:11:11
Unknown
Daddy has to go to work for five extra hours to go get this money. And they're not home. They're not playing with you. Would that change how you feel about the money? You have to actually give them metaphors in this, all of this, right. We need metaphors to understand things. We need pictures. We need stories. Which brings me to the last thing I wanted to really stress as we, we wrap up this video.

00:15:11:12 - 00:15:32:05
Unknown
Remember, always make it fun and make it a game. Kids learn through games. Kids learn through fun. As a general rule, in my family, I try to live by this mantra which is create stories, not rules. Create experiences that create stories as opposed to creating rules because rules are just like, don't do this, don't do that. That.

00:15:32:07 - 00:15:49:19
Unknown
And on some level it'll work. We need them. However, if you really want to teach some some things that really matter in life, you're going to have to create experiences that they will remember because they were in their bodies when they went through them. My name is Teevee. Hopefully this was of some benefit to you, especially as we're heading into Christmas season.

00:15:49:19 - 00:16:04:22
Unknown
Although this is a timeless lesson that I've been wanting to share with the world for the longest in a much better way than I have in the past. Thank you for tuning in. My name is Teevee. If you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the podcast. If you're listening to this on your podcast stations YouTube, subscribe there.

00:16:04:22 - 00:16:16:03
Unknown
Like share with anyone that could probably benefit from this story, because I do feel that it's a universally applicable story that can benefit anyone, but especially parents. Thank you. Have a great day and I'll see you next time.